Brace myself for lonely days ahead

Three of the most important people in my life are going away on vacations for the next few weeks, to separate places with separate people.































Beneath all the bitchiness, I'm a dependent little girl.

The world is ruled by men and what I think of it

There's been a whirlwind of thoughts surrounding my head recently. I see it as a good thing, it shows my mind is still keeping itself busy, despite the school break. One of my deepest fears, besides:

1. Ageing
   
2. Tumbling down the stairs
3. Frogs
   
4. Friends and family leaving me

is experiencing the gears within my own mind slowing down and eventually getting stuck and becoming unmovable.

Anyways, I've been thinking about, believe it or not... World peace.

No, I do not harbour dreams of entering any pageants in the near future.

Let me share my train of thoughts.

Firstly, this question came to mind:

There was an influx of news and programmes around me recently that showcased how poor children lived.

I'm not new to this, just that it got me thinking why didn't things work this way:

Then I spoke to a few friends, checked on the internet, and saw the shocking amount of money that is spent on war. One website that provides updated figures is this: Cost of War.

So, my next question was:























I know, it is getting quite pretentious, this question. We all know wars suck. And to be honest, I've never really cared much about wars, being comfortable, laid-back and all in this little country.

It's just, wouldn't it be nice if all the money and energy that were directed at killing other countries' people and building crazy nuclear weapons, were used instead in feeding and saving people's lives? Giving children education?

The fact that this huge contrast in living standards exists just across rivers, is unfathomable.

Then I realised one thing.























I can assure you I'm no man-hater and am no feminist of any sort. Come on, given the amount of time I spend doing love/hate stuff with this species, I can't do without men.

But my point is, the leaders of the world are all men. There are specific outstanding female leaders of course, but the big hands wielding power over battlefields, belong to men who are in the fight to win.

Therefore, it is substantial to say that men, who run the world (girls!), have a role to play in how the priorities fall in the world right now.

And before I even had the time to visualise a world ruled by women, the realisation that it would not happen anytime soon dawned on me, because:
























Again, I meant the significant and representative pillars of our religions.

There are female exceptions of course (which at this point led to me to a traumatising discovery that Guan Yin Ma - aka Goddess of Mercy, is actually androgynous and asexual but I shall remember her as being female), but all images of God in most religions are male.

Look at the impact of religions on society, how people worship Gods like leaders, and this has somewhat reinforced the core image of men being leaders and powerful entities.


Sigh.


My friend told me my theory is very biased. There are good men and bad men amongst those who rule the world, similarly there are good and bad women, it can't all be blamed on men.

Well, that will be a discussion for another day. Good night!

On public parenting...

I was in the train as usual the other day, seated on a seat I usually managed to luckily get on the Circle Line; and no, it wasn't because someone thought I was pregnant. This is why I love Circle Line, seats are not an unachievable dream.

At one train station, two loud and for lack of better description, sun-dried dyed hair, tight earth-coloured tops, LV trashy women entered the cabin. Obviously foreigners but I couldn't tell where they were from, partly because I was on earphones, and partly because my ears suck at discerning languages. It was definitely not because of their volume of speech and instant 'look-at-me' gesticulations that would make any third world diva proud.

They also had one baby stroller each. One baby was hidden from my view, the other was a bubbly little girl who's about... let me guess, about one year plus of age? I'm horrible at guessing baby ages but my point is she was tiny enough to be called a baby and to be forgiven for anything.

















Okay she wasn't this small but isn't this baby sooooo cutttttttteeeeeeeesssssss!!


This feisty baby girl started to maneuver her way out, at one point she was standing up on the stroller, obviously a reincarnate of G.I. Jane.

The mother, as if ignited by North Korean soldiers, instantly let out levels of fury from her mouth towards her child. It may as well have been towards the train as all of the passengers (as far as I could see) were looking at her.

From there began the onslaught of Tiger-Mom temper.

This mother lifted the child up violently by her feet and started to dunk her upside down in fast, repeated movements, onto the ground, in order to 'see if she's scared now'.

Then the mother eventually pushed the toddler on the train floor for a few seconds and put her back into the stroller.

The girl wailed and cried and the mother slapped her a few times to stop her crying.

Same process repeated a few times throughout the train journey, while the other mother watched in amusement.

Many passengers that witnessed the same thing furrowed their brows whenever the mother pulled the toddler out abruptly like a toy doll out of the stroller to do the upside-down dunking paired with verbal abuse.

Before you curse me for being a timid hypocrite for not stopping the mother, these were the thoughts running through my head then:

• The mother was aggressive but there wasn't any affirmative violence. In the whole process, the toddler didn't hit the ground, the slaps were child-version slaps mostly on the bum.

• What was my tipping point then? By which point will I feel so disturbed I'd get up and stop the mother? When she slaps her in the face?
  

• Would I be laughed at for my stupidity in interfering with people's private business? After all, in essence what the mother did was to take her daughter on a roller-coaster disciplinary ride.

• She didn't look stable enough to be a mother. Personal opinion.
  

• And finally I realised, that most people of my generation were brought up in the era where canes (and for the unlucky some, belts) were common in child-rearing methods. Times have changed so much, from where we spoke with pride on how we escaped the caning, to where the slightest physical punishment pushes our quivering hearts a little. I'll not touch on the two schools of spanking vs no-spanking of kids makes good upbringing.

What I was sure though, if it had happened with someone I knew, I'd have stopped it. Now, what does that make me?

Dinner Conversation With Parents

I was having dinner with my parents (sans sister), and the topic was on this cousin of mine who is getting married. He's the groom by the way.

I wasn't really paying attention, with the food in the foreground and the noise in the background, until they mentioned '$1000 over dollars'.

Me: What's $1000 over dollars?

Parents: The usual is about $800 plus dollars.

Me: Oh, you mean the banquet table? Per table $1000 over dollars?

Parents: Ya, that's why your aunt prefers a country club wedding. But the couple wants hotel wedding.

Me: Young people these days like hotel weddings, that's what all their friends do.

Mother: Ya lah, young people these days got money to spend.

Me: And didn't you mention the bride's father owns a kopitiam? That's worth at least a million dollars. (I was listening after all.)

Parents started to discuss about how much that wedding would cost and I faded out.

Suddenly parents turned to me and said:

Eh, next time when you get married, should do a travel wedding.

Me: Travel wedding?

Parents: Ya, book a trip overseas then get married there. You just need to pay for 2 tickets for us (my poor sister).

Me: Actually not a bad idea. Then food just have buffet. Or fly in Old Chang Kee.

Mother: Who ask him (referring to my father) no capacity to support.

Father: After that you can straight-away have honeymoon!

Incredible India

My lecturer showed this to us during lecture, saying it's the best travel commercial till date. I agree.

It makes me want to visit India. When was the last time you traveled to a place just to visit the country, and not to shop, or marinate yourself in a spa?

I showed a friend the above video.

According to him, the shots are mostly of Tibet and Nepal and that 'it's all a masquerade, a facade to lure white trash to the country'.


The real India, is this:



and this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_India



I always get surrounded by realists and cynics.

10 ways to get over a guy (Tried and proven)

This post is directed at all girls who've just had their hearts broken (Break, heart, I prithee, break!) and whom are truly rolling in the deep because he had your heart inside of his hand and he played it to the beat.

Besides a ton of questions in your head that are left unanswered, the scumbag brain does non-stop replays of the moments you shared in various flashbacks despite you not wanting to think about it (Don't think of a pink elephant, don't think of a pink elephant, HAH you did), and all you have left is... the wet pillow on your bed.

So there you are, curled up in bed with the covers over your head, letting the rest of the world go by and calling out to the God of all depressions.

GOD! DEPRESS ME!

And then at some point you decide on a course of action that will make you feel better.


Here are my 10 recommendations on how to get over a guy:


1. Let it all out. For a limited period of time not more than 12 hours.























I recommend the second night immediately after the break-up (first night still in denial).

Soak in all the misery. Go playback all the memories, especially the happy memories. You'd be surprised that the happy memories are the ones that truly kill. Cry all you want till your eyes resemble a baboon's butt, the next day's a weekend anyway (or self-imposed).


2. Get out of the bed.























There's only so much I'm-so-vulnerable shit you can feel while curled up into a ball. That's what you are, a cocoon. If you don't get out of bed soon, your family members will start whispering about you in hushed tones.

Seriously ask yourself, what are you doing there? Nothing, except thinking of... he whom-must-not-be-mentioned. You've had your 12 hours of pure indulgence moping, there's nothing more to mope about.


3. Avoid all heartbreak healing bullshit.























I found the above book from Oprah.com's list of what books to read with a broken heart. The cover should be titled: MISTAKE.

Stay away from all the healing self-help books. Which also means NO Adele song playing on repeat mode, or any other heartbreak song, including Coldplay songs and Mandarin songs by 梁静茹.

I was playing mahjong and there were love ballads playing in the background. Thankfully I was concentrating on the mahjong if not I would have been agreeing with every song lyric.

Doing things like that is secretly an outlet for you to think over things (or over-think things) in your relationship again, which brings me to my next point.

Oh and yeah, don't visit Tumblr. I'm telling you, once you tumble down that dark abyss, your teenage hormones will be re-awakened. Lots of beautiful pictures to steal though.


4. Stop over-thinking.























Of him. Of what ifs. Of the possible future. Of all the unanswered questions. Because these are excuses. There will always be unanswered questions in every break-up no matter how mutual it was. Consciously make an effort to divert your thoughts.

Brain: "I remember his third last sms had some hint of possible affection? RED ALERT RED ALERT. DIVERT ATTENTION. THINK OTHER THINGS. OOH NICE BLOGSHOP."

Or just go to 9gag.com.

Stop thinking of him for at least a week. After you get over this hardest hurdle, you will reach zen-mode and you can then get on to the next point.


5. Tell your friends about it.























Expression 1: Ideal reaction, the friend to feel angry for you upon listening.

Expression 2: The friend to at least act shocked after a few repeated dramas.

Expression 3: Constant stoning expression and produces sleep-talking sounds that they try to mask as consoling words.

Unfortunately the 3rd expression is the most commonly seen. But it is a good sign, this means the friend has been a constant listener of your troubles and you guys are real close. Therefore it doesn't matter, continue to tell them everything about the break-up. It will help and they can't run from you anyway.


#6. Send everything back to him, EXCEPT for the most expensive item. MUAHAHAH























MUAHAHAHAH. This is my favourite part of the entry. Pack every single thing that accumulated from the disaster relationship and send it back to him. It relieves a lot.

But keep the most expensive one with you.

You at least deserve that.


#7. Trash-talk.























Start bitching about him to close friends. It doesn't sound very graceful, doesn't sound very ethical, and I know a couple of my friends would probably disapprove of it. But, it has to come out.

Combine all the vulgarities you've ever heard since the day you heard your primary school classmate say the word shit, into a mega-combo-breaker. All the bitching will become funny after you get the hang of it, you can start the ex-boyfriend jokes and after that... next point.


#8. Pretend he never existed.























This sounds siao but it is actually the most effective coping mechanism. A friend suggested it to me and woots, why hadn't I think of it earlier?

And to make the above easier, you have to do the next step.


#9. Delete everything.

That means Facebook, MSN, Whatsapp, all the messages in the phone, all the email conversations in Gmail, all the messages that you saved, all the photos in your phone, and the contact numbers if possible.

If you can't do it, get a friend to delete on your behalf. Out of sight, out of mind.

Besides, it's true about starting from a clean slate.


#10. Get a life. Okay, actually, talk to new people.

This is the first time I actually hit the full 10 items on the list I think.























You get what I mean. Making friends, exchanging knowledge and experiences.

NOT exchanging bodily fluids.

I'm not a prude.

Let me tell you a story about my classmate, a guy. We were doing project and talking about nonsense like everyone does when they're supposed to be doing schoolwork.

The topic came to girls and break-ups. I'd never forget the smirk of pride on his face, when he said that his ex-gf went to whore herself and slept with tons of men after they broke-up, in an attempt to seek revenge.

So girls, don't do that to yourselves please. Unless you really love sex and that's what you are going for in life then I have no issue.

Talking to new people puts new perspectives in things and life.


Well, that's all for my entry. Good nights!

If my life was a movie...

Painting by Philip Wilson Steer - Young woman on the beach



It would have a narrator with a deep gentle male voice (Think of the male voice in the intro of the movie 500 Days of Summer, you know, the guy narrating why the young Summer could cut off her long hair so easily).


At this moment, the scene would show me lying on my bed staring at the ceiling.